did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
