How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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