i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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