that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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