sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
