gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
