I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
