So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
