How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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