Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
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