I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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