can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
