He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i dont even know how to be here
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
