honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
