absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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