Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
