So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
