Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
