FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
