no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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