so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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