what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
