Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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