I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
