Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
