I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
