I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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