By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
