A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
