A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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