you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
