First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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