Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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