Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
