Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's never too late to be topless.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The Olympian is in my bed
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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