Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize