Banned from zoo.
Again?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Randomize
