Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
