You're my little dorito
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
