Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
