I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
