So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
