No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
