You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
