hell yes lets make some ravioli
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
