I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
