I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
