Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
