If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
