He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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