Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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